sweet trance

since 04.18.2004
2009年03月 ≪  123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930 ≫ 2009年05月
TOP ≫ ARCHIVE ≫ 2009年04月
ARCHIVE ≫ 2009年04月
≪ 前月 |  2009年04月  | 翌月 ≫


スポンサー広告 | Comments(-) | Trackbacks(-)

constructive critism

sorry to break it to ya
but japanese guys are just soooo boring
and needy. god so needy and picky....
at first they're really quiet and reserved
but after awhile they think they're so cool.
even those who consider themselves "fun" and "crazy"
they're just kinda annoying.
like they're pickin on u or sumthin
i dont find any humor in dat.
it just kinda becomes repetitive.
hahahaha im such a biatch

welcome to america

plans. plans. plans

got mad plans ahead of me.
luvvv keepin myself busy.
btw its supposed to be lyk 80 degrees dis weekend DAMN!
and then bak to d 50's or 60's.
i swear NY weather is loco.

im almost almost done wit remodeling my room.
now i just gotta clean up...my closet is still real shabby.




近くにぃて欲しいなら 自然と連絡してくれるし




we need to talk

now wut
wut do u mean "we need to talk" ?
talk about WUT???
im gettin nervous

ur txts

u txt me just to check up n c how im doin
if i dont txt u for one day u'll txt me ryt b4 midnyt and say ud been waiting for me to txt u
aw dats cute uve been thinkin about me all day havent u
seems lyk ur really into me
no joke its really cute
u do things dat just makes me smile
little things lyk coming over to me just to c me
nottin special, we don't talk
but ull gimme a real nice smile
dat smile dat shows how much u lyk me

god ur so hot no joke honey!!!

im gona b laid bak about it
and see where it goes
why even bother about all dat drama?
i gotta enjoy it while it lasts
and if it doesn't, then hell with it
cuz i'll know dat d times dat we did hav fun
will always be in my memories

ur one special dude

burst of flavor

honestly i cannot say it enough
god im such a repetitive person!! lol

but i am just bursting with so much energy ryt now
of course at tyms i feel lyk shit and crap
and sometyms go bak to my old ways to deal with all those emotions
but its important for me to just take a deep breath and let go.
its been a rough ride, but as always, i just gotta try harder and harder...

its been 7 yrs since ive been with dis disorder.
its quite embarrasing and not many ppl know about it.
i am just so scared dat if i keep goin with it
my teeth cud get fucked up and ill b too ashamed to smile
that maybe my organs will start gettin weak and fuck itself up
that maybe i wont be able to hav kids in d future
that sum day my heart will just stop and my body will shut down on me
and its happened to way too many ppl
all those unfortunate stories i hear
even now i keep tellin myself, that i'll nvr b lyk dat and be alryt
but everytym i go bak to d cycle
i can feel my heart skip
my body aches and i sumtyms pass out
and wake up d next day realizing dat i fainted into a deep sleep

i come off as dis chick who's outgoing and easy to talk to
but ppl dont know what's really going on inside. and they never will.

ive broken out of d bad cycle n habits a few tyms
but do end up relapsing and it'll take me another week or two to get bak on my feet.
i used to b embarrased bout going to a specialist n takin meds
hey ive been doin it for about 4 years now
at least ive come to accept dat i need help
dat i need ppl to guide me into d ryt direction
i am truly blessed to hav these professionals by my side

everytym i look at myself in d mirror
its really no fun, cuz i keep lookin at all d things dats wrong wit me
i gotta learn how to love myself and accept myself unconditionally
cuz if i dont i wont be able to do d same with ppl dat matter most in my lyf

its been a pretty slow process
but i think i am heading towards d ryt direction
lyk i said, its been a wild ride

but sumday, sumday
maybe ill b able to feel absolutely free

just gimme d truth

honestly i dont think im lyk other girls
im not gona get so ga-ga over u just lyk dat
cuz i dont want guys to take advantage of me
in a way i guess u can say im also insecure
thats why i tend to juggle guys' hearts around
but y not get dat charisma goin and hav a lil bit of fun?

i really lyk dis guy a lot, but hes just so mysterious sumtimes
even heard sum stuff dat he may hav another girl...damn dat hurt.i almost cried.
but u know wut i aint gona start up again cuz im not lyk how i used to be
i aint dependant on a guy and i dont need a guy to complete me
if u really do hav a girlfriend then u sure played me very well.
id be upset and dissapointed, but mostly id feel sry for ur gf dat she has such a crappy bf.
but then again u sounded so genuine when i asked u straight up
damn ppl be talkin. i hate drama.
my brain hurts lyk a bitch.

im eating raisins.



not again

the butterflies
the jitters
ur makin me get those feelings again

i check my cell to c if u txted me
i think about wut ur up to
if i dont talk to u i wonder if maybe i did sumthin
even tho i know everytym u c me
u feel those exact emotions dat rush thru me too

how many times hav i experienced dis?
and everytym i tell myself "dis one's different."
but u know wut, all the guys that i've had feelings for,
they were all wonderful and unique and i enjoyed being wit them when we were together.
but the past is sumthin u cant bring bak
once it becomes a memory it'll stay that way
but u, ur in my present
and that's why u r so very special to me.

the past has helped us become who we are now
the future is wut drives us to become who we wanna b
and the present is where we thrive and do wut our hearts desire

that is why i honor u my present
as long as u stay and keep smilin
nothin will change

like u said.


私は まだまだだ。
一歩 一歩 ちゃんと進んでるのヵしら
いや 進んでるはず。
だって 時計は止まっていないもの。

1日10分だヶでも 自分自身につぃて考えたいな。
たった10分 自分の中にぁるものをちょっと観察しますヵ。
たったの10分で 自分が驚くほどの何ヵが出てくるヵもね。

だヵらもっと ぐ~~~~んと

i lyk u

u make me smile
u make me nervous
u make me feel so gud
ur presence creates such a positive mood

it takes me longer to do my make-up
it takes me forever to do my hair
i always check my face in the mirror too
cuz i know i'll b seeing u

i pretend not to look
but i wonder if ur der
u pretend not to look
but u still take a quick glance anyway

d way u hold my hand
d way ur lips press against mine
d way u place ur hand on me
d way u scrunch my hair
it feels so surreal
but when i take a second look
ur still by my side
how did u get me so mesmerized?

u get jealous
u get mad
but i just laugh
cuz ur so honest with how u feel
and then u start laughin
and everythings all gud

i trust u
i respect u
ur such a tease
ur such a boy
but to everybody else ur just a mystery

d girls want u
everytym u show up their eyes sparkle
dat quiet charisma u got seems to glow
even tho u try not to let anything show

and yet again today
i wonder how u really feel
honestly it's quite a big deal

me myself and then you

自分に 誠実になるように



それを思い出して ちょこっと体がぽかっとしまちた。
思い出って 不思議なもんじゃ。
でも 5分だヶでも そんなライフヵら休憩してみると
去年 2年 4年前に起きた事を
思い出すと 体がぽかっとしまつ。

今まで流した涙にも 色んな思い出ばヵり。
そしてこれヵらも 毎日積木をキレイに並べていきたいにゃ。


new wallet

COACH '09 series
shimmery gold
わあい わあい
サラバじゃhello kitty

medium ash brown

去年愛用してぃたperfect 10のmedium ash brownのヘアカラーを久々に使ったょ。