sweet trance

since 04.18.2004
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a list of the things i love

starting with the basics, shall we?
drinking with friends. outside in hard chairs on a golden afternoon.
the wind slightly brisk at dusk. we're all smoking cigarettes
oh the tequila dries out nicely on my tongue.
by high fives and silly comments we are intertwined together
not by blood but by warmth and acceptance
i am half the person without my friends.

mom the wise, a bit silly after her 3rd glass of wine. she is full of knowledge and wisdom. though short-tempered at times, we are alike in that sense. fiery with passion and witty (enough) to the point that bickering is not a choice but a lifestyle.
yoi. how he plays his bass. his long hair sways in front of his emotionless face. but within is a stir of intense passion. for the love of music, he is.
k. perky like adderall. funny as hell. ambitious and short-tempered like the rest of us. his big head always finds a way to look groovy-approved in yankee caps.
mami, the 2nd mom. protective, nurturing, yet feisty in her own right. it took awhile for me to understand my sister, i don't think i understand her 100% to this day. but that's okay. i love her. because she is mami.

he is constantly challenging me to become better. and even though it all started with me being piss drunk and telling him how much i love his face, he was enticed by the way that i am and i will never lose that. He inspires me to become a better woman. to find my desire yet again.
he knows what makes me tick. he keeps me on my toes. i hate him for it sometimes, and I don't hate anybody. for this i love him. and i thank him for being on my side, holding my hand, sometimes letting me alone, and making me a stronger person.

my cat. such a weirdo. tries to bite my toes. he seems to always be hungry. but it's a trap.
if you put your hand in front of him, he will try to scratch you. but if you put your face close to his, he will kneel all over your face. and never dare to scratch such a face.
lonely in nature but likes to be left alone when the day is young. a strange one he is, and i love him.
I found him when he was only 4 months old. on a rainy day. and i promised him that i will be there with him until his last breath. that will be a sad day. but hopefully not for another decade

empty subway cars.
i feel free to sing LOUDLY. with pride.
but once people start to board, i become shy. and i like to keep to myself in public.

english and japanese i've mastered. but of course.
and now i want to learn arabic. it's so beautiful. german too, the way it rolls on the tongue. is superb.
spanish. the dancers language. so much rhythm.
french. the afternoon tea time with anything but tea.
portuguese. makes me want to have a martini with a biscuit for some reason.

post-rain, semi-shiny days. a bit nippy. very mild wind.
reminds me of london. it is so cozy.
perfect weather to smoke a cigarette with the window half-open, coeur de pirate in the background.

timeless art. makes me think. makes me want to go out and live the dream.
but what is the dream? mine or yours? one dream to another may be nothing.
and that is how it is. so we should never compare. unless it is to yourself.
to be reactive or proactive. or is it about patience vs impatience?
or it is about respecting time, by letting it be
or respecting time, by not wasting a single minute and going for it?
see, mozart. i didn't even need the music to have a busy brain.