sweet trance

since 04.18.2004
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TOPスポンサー広告 ≫ 30-day bikram yoga challenge : DAY 2 thru 4TOPyoga ≫ 30-day bikram yoga challenge : DAY 2 thru 4

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30-day bikram yoga challenge : DAY 2 thru 4

I've upgraded my personal challenge from 7-days to 30-days. booyah bitches.
Bikram yoga doesn't get easier. everybody can agree with that.
the room is HOT and we're all sweating.
30 minutes in and we're all drenched. sweat dropping to our mats.
45 minutes in and i'm trying to control my breath.
it's FUCKING HOT.
I wish a big pool would just magically fall on me so I can be relieved from this torture.
My heart is beating fast and hard.
Camel pose is the most intense one for me, as it's an hour within and I'm feeling dizzy.
the teacher says that you should feel dizzy and light-headed after camel pose, because that's how you know it's working.
my blood is flowing throughout my whole body.
i look at the door. i want to open it and be relieved of this agony.
but no. I stay.
savasana. I relax and let my body be. i breathe in and out deeply and slowly to recycle my air.

If I can't do a pose because I feel dizzy, then I stay in child pose.
I look at myself in the mirror
there is nobody else around me
just me. hair up. no makeup. panting. sweaty. hot.
i don't like looking at myself so much.
I don't like how I have fat around my waist.
I don't like that I don't have a perfect face.

then the teacher says,
"look are yourself in the mirror. concentrate. look at your eyes, they are beautiful. don't blink. look. LOOK....and change."

when she says "change" it means to relax and proceed with savasana or the 2nd part of the pose.
but I took those words and digested it deeper.
Change.
Change yourself.
but first you must accept yourself.
that person in the mirror, look at her, don't blink.
love her, because that is you
working hard and challenging yourself
being honest and being vulnerable
for a stronger you.
don't give up.

I've gotten into the poses much deeper
and able to sustain the poses longer
but damn it's still so hard.
it doesn't get easier
but it's get better.

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