sweet trance

since 04.18.2004
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TOPスポンサー広告 ≫ being 23 is awesome.TOP日常 ≫ being 23 is awesome.


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being 23 is awesome.

although i currently do not hold a fulltime job
and although I constantly wonder about my credit score and my bank account

i love being 23.
i love where i am right now.

of course there is room for much improvement.
and in the case of my current life, or any of ours
there is ALWAYS space for improvement.
but the most important one,
what should first be worked on
is 'well-being'.
our well-being calms us, let's us accept our current situation
let's us breathe a little deeper
and helps seek our path in a positive, optimistic manner.
without a solid 'well-being',
we are often lazy, feel bored (in general or in relationships with others) and let's the present seep itself into the past
and we can never gain that day back again. ever.
time never stops. so why are you?
that doesn't mean go spend all your money on gambling
or party so much you become ill
(although that party one sounds kinda fun)
'not stopping' means to embrace each day and have fun with it.
the well-being can be nourished by number of things.
friends to laugh with, events to look forward to, exercising and eating well.
some may take it excessively and makes irrational decisions that they cover with a big 'well-being' blanket, when in fact it's going to affect the balance.

okay, this is getting too long.

i've been working on my well-being for the half-end of the summer.
When I came here I jumped-started and began working 40hrs+ every week.
although I did take some time-off at times, it wasn't the right time to find my well-being. too busy with other shtuff.
i'm in a really great relationship (it's been awhile since it's been legit like this.) so I'm taking all the skills I learned from my previous relationships to make it a really awesome one. and so far it has, I'm suppose I'm really scared that out of the blue he'll call it quits on me again. I wouldn't be so figgity if it never happened, but he ended it once last year and it was really fucking shitty. like I didn't even see it coming. I hate those.

Also, I'm trying to find myself as an artist. I don't know where I belong. it's making me shit in my pants because my 12-year-old self saw an independent woman, teaching makeup, being en entrepreneur in the cosmetic industry, somebody who peacefully painted at a park, or was decorating her new, big studio apartment.

look at me now.

hello past me,
I'm not what you'd expect I'd be
but first off. look at my awesome hairstyle. and i just got the other side cleanly shaved at a local barber.
I started Bikram yoga, and I feel so refreshed and powerful every time I walk out of that studio. like nobody could annoy or bother me.
I have a cute boyfriend who goes to NYU. we can all agree that the NYU part is quite important.
I quit my last job proudly.
I live in the most populated city in the US. and I've been here for a YEAR and it doesn't look like I'm leaving anytime soon.
I know a lot of good music.
so it's alll gooooood.

all of this however is a lot or work for the self.
don't let anything scare you.
just because something seems scary doesn't mean fear has to defend you.
fear is just a cover thinking that you can't handle it.
don't let it fool you, just go for it!
that's exactly what I'm doing.



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