sweet trance

since 04.18.2004
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2015 roundup

goals i've had for myself in 2015:

1) Limit my mind-wandering
A) a daydreamer with a wild imagination has a brain that endlessly searches for its next creativity outlet. and mine is no exception - mind-wandering has always been a part of me.
the difference between the beginning of my berlin journey and now, protrudes in the factual reality that bridges the intangible toward a calm sea of realness. Despite the fact that some negative feelings have existed, they cannot be pushed away but rather embraced and cognitively researched and backed up with reason and facts. so, although the mind-wandering had never seized, to deal with the reality has become less strenuous and actually a supplemental course.

2) 30 minutes yoga every day, writing, sleep 8 hours, limit caffeine intake, stay active and healthy.
A)stretching has existed the same amount as my impatience on a general thumb. I seldom drink any caffeine (once a month) and work has kept me on my swivel game. done

3) exert extra energy towards something constructive, other than work: review writing on restaurants/hotels/etc, german language study, ,,,,,,
A) Being with honey's family has pushed me to speak and try to understand German. Getting to know his family was at first anxiety-inducing, however it's helped me to expand my knowledge on the language and the culture. Roaming about the city and trying out new joints has slowly, yet steadily been on the to-do list. Being with honey has opened my mind to a lot more and I'm becoming more open to seek out the unknown.

c) CBT. when the moment arises, acknowledge it, and let it go. talk to somebody if I need to.
A) I've definitely become more honest and self-aware during my 2015 journey. honey has always been there to support me during my ups and downs and he has been the most amazing person for me as I learn to better understand myself.

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Rather than letting my insecurities/weakness become who I am, I've slowly started to accept them as what they are. albeit uncomfortable, I've talked them out and try my best to see the reality in the best occasions. evolution oftens comes with heaps of stress. it is much easier to deny our own weakeness, pretend that it's not there and continue to living in the comfort zone -- that's the point. to step out of the comfort zone is cringeworthy and remotely sane. but it is damn worth it

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